I have a very simple question to pose this Valentine's Day: are you totally, madly, completely in love with the vision you have of your future self?
With your answer in mind, think about this: Is the way you look at yourself right now accurate? Is it even positive? Or maybe, just maybe, are you holding on to an old story you've been told about who you are or what you're capable of?
Forget about past "failures" or "should have's". Who are you RIGHT NOW? More importantly, do the actions you take and the stories you tell yourself support a vision of who you WANT TO BECOME?
Let me tell you a (semi-embarrassing) story about how I wound up "ugly crying" in World Market last week when I figured out I was desperately holding on to an old "struggling artist" picture of myself that didn't serve me anymore. It all started with a broken chair...
This has been my desk chair for the past 10 years:
I found it on the street on the (WAY) upper west side of Manhattan three days after I moved to New York City. Bedbug fears be damned, I was a scrappy artist with a "Felicity" fueled New York City Dream and I was excited. (I know most people would have said "Sex and the City" but "Felicity" was where it was AT, guys!).
I was so ridiculously excited to have found this sh*tty chair that I lugged it all the way home- to BROOKLYN! With 2 SUBWAY LINE TRANSFERS! At RUSH HOUR! To my 3RD FLOOR WALK-UP! I cleaned it, fixed the broken bit, and painted it green. There was something about that chair that made me feel more "adult" than I ever had before.
Cut to today and that chair has been with me through everything this past decade...
But this year when I started working from home as a full-time writer and entrepreneur I started to notice...my butt was really starting to hurt.
My back was cramping mid-way through the day. I could feel my sit bones through my seat no matter how many pillows I put underneath me. My body was telling me what I've known for months but didn't want to admit...
The more I grew my business, the more I realized:
I had outgrown the chair.
I had done an exercise at New Years where instead of setting resolutions (which never works for me) I instead sat down and got REALLY HONEST about what *actually* makes me happy now and what kind of life picture I want to build for myself. I made a Pinterest vision board for 2019 filled with images that I wanted to see myself in: a beautifully decorated apartment, a group of laughing friends, a woman practicing yoga, an author doing a book signing, and yes, a beautiful home office with a comfortable desk chair.
Even after I'd done that exercise, I procrastinated getting a new desk chair for SO LONG. I still felt like somehow I was cheating on that old, scrappy artist-version of me. The me who had to fight for survival and pinch pennies to make ends meet. The me who always "made it work", no matter what.
But then last week I was walking through World Market and BAM! I saw THIS BABY:
It was love at first sight. I immediately envisioned myself sitting in this classy, tufted "Grown Ass Lady chair" booking clients, finishing my writing projects, and creating the content I'm so excited to be sharing with you RIGHT NOW. I saw an up-leveled version of myself and my business happily working away at my passions and creative projects...
...and I started to cry. Like UGLY cry. In the middle of World Market at the Grove in LA.
I was crying because I wasn't just letting go of an old chair, I was letting go of an old version of me.
I was investing in something for my business, yes, but more than that I was investing in something that brings me closer to the vision I have for my life. I *literally* gave myself the support that I needed to move on to the next level (and may I just say my back and butt are very thankful for that support!).
I know: that's a hell of a lot of emotional attachment to a chair! But I say all this to bring home the point that sometimes we have to let go of old dreams that no longer excite us. It's healthy to want new things, new paths, new adventures. It's okay to let go of scarcity-based thinking in favor of an abundant vision for your future life.
I challenge you to ask yourself: do you have a clear picture of who you are and where you're going that you're totally IN LOVE with?
If you're unclear about this, take (at least) 20 minutes of alone time, light a candle, and write down some stuff about what makes you happy. Then start to think about ways you can start to bring more of those things into your life. Pinterest boards are great for this!
(In fact, I sent my MAGIC WORDS insiders detailed instructions for a full "visualization/manifestation" exercise; subscribe here to join the community or check out my instagram stories "magic lessons" on @kelsey.writes for the visualization excercise!)